Written by MJ Ryan, SheEO Development Guide
Image source: Conscious Conversations
Last week, I shared a model on purpose called Ikigai and offered a variety of ways to explore your “reason for being.” One readers, SheEO Activator Esther Laspisa, reached out with the following comment: “Some women, maybe many, have so much self doubt that they are not in a position to use the model and take action. They don’t believe that they are really good at something, that it is okay to say they love something (or to even understand what that might be due to self doubt/lack of self worth), that the world could actually need what they can offer and that it is okay to be driven by what is inside them vs what others tell them directly or indirectly.
“It seems like a big `AND’. It takes both. You need to believe in yourself and strive to be in the center of the diagram. One without the other is insufficient. The ability to trust in oneself at some level is needed to be able to answer the questions in the model. In addition, having self trust and confidence without being in the center spot does not lead to a fulfilling pursuit.”
It hurt my heart to read Esther’s words. Not because I think they are untrue, but because they are. I continue to work with women founders every day who say their biggest issue is self-confidence. That there is something fundamentally wrong with them. And I continue to search for ways to support women in trusting themselves. Recently I was reading Communications Catalyst Dia Bondi’s most recent blog and she reminded me of something important: rather than trying to get confidence, tap into conviction. Here it is in Dia’s words:
“Conviction solves a lot.
“When we go to speak to the audiences that matter, conviction helps us speak with confidence and power.
“When we are rejected, conviction can trigger our resilience.
“When we hit a rocky zone on the path to our goal, conviction can help us keep going.
“Conviction keeps our voice alive. It helps us stand firm in our beliefs and it helps us take pride in our mission, goals, and ideas.
“Conviction can produce confidence.”
Ready to find conviction? Here are Dia’s suggestions:
- “What makes us mad? We’re angry when our values are violated. We react when something that matters to us is stepped on, overlooked, or tossed aside. Look at what makes you mad, what begs a reaction from you, and in there, you can find conviction.
- “What makes us moved? I am sometimes moved in ways that remind me why I do this work- helping you speak powerfully. I’m moved when I see someone go from `not sure what to say’ to `here’s what I want to say.’ From taking up little space to taking up more. From speaking from your small self, to speaking from your most powerful self. It moves me every time, and it is the thing I remember when it’s time to have conviction.”